I have been extremely quiet on this blogging thing, for quite some time. The reasons are numerous and many inconsequential to the wider fact that I have not done any – for far too long.
The last 18 months to 2 years have seen various changes both in my personally, along with my job and my growth, including but not limited to, nearly losing my job, due to a conflict of a medical issue, which had severely degraded my capabilities to do my job effectively
I was lucky enough to be surrounded by people who loved and cared for me, as well as being part of a company that gets, you have bad times, and were willing to work with me, for far longer, than most other companies, and prove that I was worth fighting for
Since then I have come out of the other side stronger and fighting much harder than ever before. There is focus there, that I have missed, and a stubbornness, to succeed, and repay the faith in me into a company, where I had lost all faith in myself.
Recognizing that I had to change, if I wanted to grow, but more importantly, being aware that I cannot do it all, and sometimes you just have to say No. Having the confidence to do that has paid dividends, not only in my ability to do my job, but to set parameters, and also allow me to see where we can make major improvements in how my team and I operate as a whole.
Part of this has involved in becoming a behind the scenes Ambassador for Mental Health, and Diversity and Inclusion. Including acknowledging, when to ask for help , and when I have to just say I don’t have the capacity for this. For me this is my biggest hurdle, especially when it comes to not only delegating work, but also in acknowledging I am only Human and cannot do it all.
A large part of this wider challenge, comes from where I have had to ‘fight’ to break molds and forge my own way in the world. Removing away from what my parents knew to what I want, and I needed to grow. I have realized that one should never really stop learning, as your growth becomes stunted, and very often you wont always realize how much you have grown, until you look back on your past achievements
Am I going to promise write more here. No. Am I going to promise to try and do better yes. But more importantly I am going to remember, that I can only do what I can. As I said to my counsellor this week, I feel like I am only just starting to bloom, and I am excited, nervous and anxious for what lies ahead. But whatever that might be, I know I don’t have to do this journey alone
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