Uncertainty and Flexibility

Hello everybody!

How are you?

Today I would like to write about the subject of flexibility, which is related to the subject of uncertainty.

Today there is a lot of uncertainty, as a result of:

1. the evolution of technology,
2. political instability,
3. the evolution of society (for example it being easier to separate, having more single parents).
4. and the current pandemic 😏

When I did my first coaching training at the end of 2008, they taught me some basics, I was told about a coaching model that I now want to share with you.

Coaching is a conversation or intervention; that is, or can be part of a conversation, in which the coach directs the client’s attention with questions or gives feedback that allows the client to gain clarity of what they want. By doing so, it aims to help improve their determination to achieve. It can also manifest itself in the simply awareness of what works or what doesn’t work for said individual. Neither of these are wrong but are powerful motivators in helping individuals achieve their full potential.

This type of conversation has a structure (led by the coach), but the content is determined exclusively by what interests or worries the client and what they want to talk about. Confidence and openness are needed so that the client feels part of the conversation, as well as being in control. No one likes to feel ‘talked at’, or not in control of their own needs

As such there are three key pillars around coaching, which are:

• Goals
• Flexibility, and
• Feedback.

The conversation has a purpose. The client has goals they want/need to achieve. There needs to be clear a clear structure to the learning process, that can include some of the following; a defined period of time for the session, they need to reflect the persons actions, and the individual needs to be completely aligned with all potential outputs following the training. All of which needs to be transparent and openly communicated with the individual

How to achieve an individuals specific goal, or a variety of other agenda items can be discussed, subject to the training needs of the individual(s). Depending on our learning preferences, our priorities, our personal style (conversation, negotiation, time management, etc.) coaches, mentors, trainers will try various strategies. Some of which are: mental strategies, techniques and exercises, research. Through this process a bond will develop as we get to know each other better, acquire new tools to manage our emotions, gain clarity in our goals, and precision in our actions.

Learning is the third piece. Feedback is the tool of this learning. When we do ‘x’, what happens? How do others react? What results do we achieve?

And these three pillars create a cyclical and fluid dynamic. When we review the results, we do more of what works and less of what doesn’t (if we are aware of it and still want to get the same results). As we achieve results, we sometimes gain perspective on the situation and change our minds or set other goals. When one thing doesn’t work, we try something else.

At this point I am reminded of the Einstein quote which said “The definition of Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results” Over time the word insanity has become interchangeable with other words, to stress or make a point, that is applicable to the given circumstances

What does all this have to do with uncertainty?

Uncertainty is reduced with research, development and, above all, with flexibility.

1. Minimise uncertainty, gain flexibility

Do you feel trapped? Generate options.

When you are faced with a situation in which it seems that the only alternative is to do something or nothing, try to generate more alternatives, if you find one that you like more.

Collective discussions, allow us to ask for recommendations or find out what others have done in a similar situations. It is often interesting to do all three things.

2. Too many options? Decide a criterion to filter them

There are many ways to choose, what “makes sense”, what “seems” a good option (using our intuition). It is always interesting to ask:

• What will happen if I do this?
• What will happen if I don’t do that?
• What wouldn’t happen if I did this?
• What wouldn’t happen if I didn’t do that?

The idea is to try to discover our “unknown knowledge areas” It is very much a part of that what do you need to know. The challenge is that you don’t know, because you don’t know you don’t know it, until you learn that you need to know the don’t know part of the requirement. By using this technique to discover the idea of, what we do not see of ourselves, allows us to help gain clarity in our choices and preferences.

3. Consider the quality of life

When you make decisions, it should be in the hope of improving your quality of life and of those around you.

It’s tempting to look for immediate gratification, or some kind of short-term benefit … but often these options can affect you long-term life, and consequently be unsustainable or unsuitable as you life changes

4. Be clear about your priorities

How many times have you done something because you were asked to and felt compelled to do so?

When you force yourself to do things, you may end up regretting it. How about if you take some time to make sure you want to take action, and learn to say “No”.

5. Give it your best

Attempts without drive or conviction often produce poor results. On the other hand, when you give it your all, you always win. Because you get what you set out to do or because you grow with the experience. From my point of view both results are beneficial!

Imagine the difference it would make to try these suggestions, in case of uncertainty, and how you would gain confidence when moving forward.

You have one life, live it.