Today is mental health awareness day and in a report back in 2013, shows that women are 40% more likely to develop mental illnesses than men. Why is this? Do women really develop more mental illnesses than men or are we more prone to visit our GP and or talk about our issues.
When people think of mental illness they either think of the OMG are you psychotic? Will you go on a killing rampage? or murder me in my sleep? or the alternative is you don’t like ill? Well of course we don’t because our illness is in our mind. That doesn’t mean that we don’t show physical symptoms but only if you know what you are looking for. There may be tell-tale phases that sufferers may use that only another sufferer may recognise. Key phrases for me is ‘I font feel safe’ ‘ A smile hides a thousand emotions…’ The rest of the sentence is never completed which is ‘…including the one I am really feeling’.
Does this mean that those with mental illnesses cannot function in today’s society? have high-powered jobs? of course not. What it means is that a little care, a little eduction, and a little time is needed, not only by our healthcare systems, but our support mechanisms and our employees to understand what it really means to have a mental health illness. Mine is manic depression. Rightly or wrongly I don’t always disclose my condition to employees? why not? Stigma is the simplest answer. The second reason is, is that their health questionnaire does not ask the right questions.
I have encountered stigma at a previous workplace where I had to educate, and teach HR what my condition was? what it meant? and how it could affect my productivity? and what this mean from an operational perspective? I kept the telling simple and high level but then as soon as I started to struggle as some of my triggers were hit, from personal issues, my capacity to do my role was questioned. This is not the support we need. We need to have understanding and tolerance, and sometimes being around ‘functional’ work colleagues is the best thing for us; other times being told we can curl up in a duvet and cry is also good. The number of times I have thought about ending it as been numerous over the last 20 years since my original diagnosis, but I am still here and still being strong. What’s kept me surviving has been good friends, an understanding husband, and a workplace which just nods and smiles when I say I need to work from home today.
I am also privileged to now work in an environment where I know at least 4 people who have or are suffering with Bi-Polar, depression or other mental health issues. My own husband is also a bi-polar sufferer and we have friends who have bi-polar, are self-harmers, and Schizophrenics. The best thing about having ‘mad’ friends is that we can all support each other, be ourselves, and not be afraid of who we are. We don’t have to hide behind masks. In that respect I know I am lucky but there are so many more people, not just women out there who aren’t.
Sufferers of mental illness don’t want sympathy – we don’t need it. What we need is understanding, support and acceptance. Sometimes that support can be harsh truths and brutal honesty. Sometimes it’s just a hug and a smile and told that you are there for them. Sometimes it is a combination of both. More importantly take the time to understand, ask questions, listen and just be there for the person. Using phrases such as can’t you just snap out of it – is not helpful and can be more counter-productive than productive. A post in November last year clearly articulated how futile some of the comments and phrases that are used at people with mental illness really are, when you compare them to everyday illnesses.
However, there is a way forward, there are some great charities out there that do some great work for mental illness, one of the most prominent one is Mind. Medication helps, but with depression the real key is counselling, understanding the triggers, and finding coping mechanisms to remain functional and how to fight back when the black dog comes barking. Like with any mental illness the key is a combination of both not just one or the other. The sad fact is too many health professionals are too reliant on dealing with the immediate and not the long-term. They will issue the medication but forget about the counselling, or will only offer short-term. Many people with Mental health issues need long-term counselling and guidance and a 12 weeks Psychotherapy course really just doesn’t cut it.
So where do we need changes? This is not just within the work environment, who need to teach, educate and understand these conditions. Changes also need to be made at the core too within the health and care industries. We don’t want to be wrapped up in cotton wool, but we do want to be functional. This can only happen if the health care professionals truly understand our conditions and what we need to be so. Drugs help but they don’t fix the problem – give us what we need, which is support, coping mechanisms and a way to survive.
So whenever I get asked at work when I do something random and someone says are you mad? I answer yes and I know it…. often this leaves the person confused, but leaves me with a smile on my face, as now they are confused…. so just remember we are all mad and we all know it. As Tears for Fears said it is a mad world, so maybe we are truly the sane ones, and the others are the ones who are truly mad.
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