Hi everyone!
I hope that you are well.
Did you know that credibility is “decided” in a split second?
Last year I did a course on personal impact and it contested that our brain looks at:
- Age
- Sex
- Ethnicity
- The objects you hold or surround yourself by
- Clothes
- Manners
- Posture
- Eye contact
- Stability
- Smile
For a person to “decide” if we believe them. or not
It is clear that we cannot do anything with the first three factors.
What I found most interesting was that they told us how a smile reveals nerves instead of transmitting credibility and confidence
I also felt like I was in an Attenborough documentary when they told us about the “dominant” behaviour of the males; such as spreading the legs (Man-spreading), point towards their genitals, show aggression.
It seems the way women are educated (to close their legs and occupy little space) is actually conditioning them to have no option to transmit authority and credibility “in the language of the animal kingdom.”
Ultimately, this is in your hands. Like all social conditioning, we can choose to accept or break the mould and forge a new path
- Take space
The use of space demonstrates power. Use your body and your belongings. Get up and move. It is like the old clichés of ‘Smile when you dial’ they can hear it down the phone. To stress your words, stand up as your diaphragm is expanded and extended and therefore there is more force and assertiveness in the tone.
For example; If you stay quiet, spread your legs, relax your knees (to gain balance – if needed), push your chest out and raise your head. I recommend reciting the mantra in your head “I am here to stay”
If you are sitting, use the armrests, make yourself comfortable, and I recommend reciting the mantra “here I rule”
- Show your hands
Our brain “reads” intention in the hands.
As we do not walk on all fours, our guts are exposed and, in terms of animals, the stomach area is a vulnerable point. Covering the gut conveys that we feel vulnerable, as does clenching our fists.
Hiding your hands creates mistrust.
Use your hands to be better understood and more memorable. Using your hands to describe intent and to talk with can be engaging, but overdoing it can be a distraction
- Eye contact
You calm others by looking into their eyes (into the camera if you are in a video conference). Eye contact is a very powerful connection, use it to your advantage. It is important to recognise though that some people find eye contact difficult, for a variety of reasons; including but not limited to; unseen medical conditions (Autism – in its broadest definition; social anxiety for example).
- Keep your head still
Keep your head up.
If you have to turn your head, do it slowly, as if you were wearing a crown.
Turn “on” and “off” your “powerful” mode by controlling the movements of your head.
- Smile
In all instances of a smile, it must be genuine, it must reach your eyes. let your voice be warm and engaging to let you put others at ease,
You solve problems without sacrificing relationships.
Expand your repertoire of assertive behaviour.
Improve your presence and maximise your credibility.
Tell us about the changes this brings to you!
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